I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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