I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
me + whiskey = a bad person
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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