That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Me. At least after what I've been through.
She said her name was "party"
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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