So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
