What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
