okay pat passed out under dana's car
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
