We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
