It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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