Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
