Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
