I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
