How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
