I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
