i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
