i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The Olympian is in my bed
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
