I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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