D3 body, D1 cock
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
