last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
