Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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