Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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