i just google imaged poop.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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