she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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