it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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