I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
