Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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