Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
