i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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