About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
