Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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