I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
