she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
