you guys were way drunker than both of me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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