If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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