Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
