I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
