I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
