Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
