1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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