Three words: puerto rican gang bang
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We named our party play list daddy issues
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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