Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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