My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
