she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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