dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
