I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
