vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
