"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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