I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
