Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
