I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
