dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Houston, we have a squirter
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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