Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
